Dimout.

Darkness inundated. not her life but her mind, it overpowered the colorful world that once inhabited these folds and brought cheerfulness into her reality.
she was mislead, manipulated, misunderstood and exploited to an extent that even the strongest being would never be capable of handling. The cheerfulness turned to hostility, socializing turned to solitude, the sweet manners were restricted. she found pleasure in her secluded life. She grew impatient for a small change of events, she couldn't dare to even hope for a miracle.
Keeping balance was an expensive price, she became poor on happiness. stripped of her good judgement; she couldn't but distrust human motives. safer precaution.
A glimpse of light was attributed in him, she wanted to hold to it. but soon it vanished into thin air, smothering the new born hope. Persevering to a petite hope was a tiring purpose.

Hope is an assailant

She finally saw the light. Her ache was projected to the small piece of paper that held her memorable words. the paper that was now the only memory left of her. she could see; from above, who was worth her hope. and smiled.

Question Time =D

the accidental blog tagged me to answer some questions, and here we go :D

Rules:
1. You must post the rules
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post. if you can's just tell some people about it and let them answer anywhere (even their facebook will suffice)
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!



And here are the questions i'm supposed to answer

1. You can never live without………….
   
   
   ummm..that's a tricky question, but i'll go neutral and say.......AIR
   
   
2. You’re never too old to………………..?
   
   eat lollipops, SWING :D
   
3. When was the last time you conquered your fear, or did an act of bravery?
   
   
   i don't actually remember, honestly
   
4. When was the last time you laughed your heart out?
   
   Today, i always laugh haha
   
   
5. What inspires you, or pushes you forward?
   
   what pushes me forward; is doing something i haven't done in a good while, as simple as it might be, as long as it's not on my daily routine. that gives me a boost, take for an example an outing with friends anywhere
   
   
6. Would you rather go back in time, jump to the future, or stay in the present? Why?
   
   i don't like this present, i don't know what's going to happen in the future as well
   so i might pick going back in time, some time in the middle ages, when females get to be treated like royalty, no matter what their position is
   or right before i decided to join medschool ;)
   
7. If you were to be someone else, who would you be?
   
   Demi Lovato, i always wanted to be a pop/rock star :D
   
   or due to the current circumstances in Egypt, i might want to be some city official, so i can rule the country and make things right for a change
   
8. If you were granted a single superpower, what would that be?
   
   i always wanted to be able to read minds, or fly :)
   
   
9. What is the one job that would never suit you?
   
   Arabic teacher, i suck at arabic and explaining things to people, combine those two together and you'll be having a hell in heels "hopefully i'll be able to wear heels then. lol"
   
   
10. What is your favorite dessert?
    
    anything involving chocolate, or cheese cake
    
    
    
11. What is your current mobile ringtone?
    
    A drop in the ocean by Ron Pope
    
    
    
    
    
    Now it's my turn to ask
    to whoever i tell or read this , please answer. i don't know how to tag people in here haha
    
    
    1. What do you like doing on your free time?
    2. what's the thing that you regret doing?
    3. if you woke up and find yourself of the opposite sex, what would you do?
    4. your 'like a boss' moment
    5. if you like someone, and you want them to know, what would you do?
    6. your favorite song,Tv-show, movie, ice cream flavor and color
    7. do you like the way you are now, your life? yes or no with reasons
    8. your celebrity crush/ your favorite celebrity
    9. what do you hate the most in people?
    10. who's your role model?
    11. the most embarrassing moment ? *Grins*
    
    
    
    

Nice is not always Nice

Being a nice person is a good thing, you’re always there for everyone, you care about people’s feelings, you don’t like being rude with anyone, even if you’re honest-like me- but still nice, you manage to say what you want to say in a way that is somehow rather acceptable

But the problem is, being nice means you always have to forgive people, over and over again. Even if they repeat the same mistake, because when you don’t, they start blaming you and make feel guilty in the process.

It also means people taking advantage of that, because you’re nice; you’ll always do stuff for them, forgive them (I know that I’m repeating my self- oh well) and Always putting everything and everyone ahead of you.
 

it means that whatever happens, you should be the ‘good’ one, that concludes you always being the strong one, that you will always have to SUCK IT UP and move on pretending that nothing bothers you-even if it does.

You reach a point where you’ve had Enough, where the slightest thing upsets you, where you become over sensitive over the tiniest thing.

That’s when people start blaming you.

But you will NOT always shut up, you have to speak out for yourself, can’t talk well? Write it down for them to read, send it to them, point out that no one can always walk all over you, that you will NEVER allow that to happen again.

Start to prioritize what’s important and what’s not, who you still consider as a best friend and who’s not, what you care about and what not, ‘cause you have to let go of the latter

and if you have trouble figuring that out, give each of them a chance or two, try things out and see how it will turn out to be, if they fail you, let them go, if not, hold on tight to them.

Being nice is a good thing, but not always nice.

Remember to put yourself first. Don’t push it hard on yourself to please anyone

Thoughts and memories- just like kindergarten

Just like kindergarten
you see someone for the first and within seconds you become best friends.

you miss those days.

when everything was okay and fine
when the only issue you've got was that you and your best friend are not in the same class or sitting next to each other
life was so much easier back then

Nothing to worry about
No back stabbing, faking, hypocrisy or lies

that's what we desperately need those days

some peace of mind

but know what, we still have it

it's represented in our childhood memories, our long life best friends
the happy moments you share with your beloved ones on special occasions

they all are temporary, but when you remember them, they bring you happiness

not just that
we still have good friends, loyal friends
those who care to throw you a surprise party on your birthday
those who are always by your side when you're down
those who help you and stick by your side when you need them
who stand up for you when someone talks badly about you

Friends you share good and bad times with, they are priceless
you should be grateful for them

some them are with you since kindergarten
some of them are new but worth way more than a long lost friend

some of them comfort you when you lose a friend or go through hard times

and some of them goof around and do stupid and crazy things with you
just like kindergarten

sometimes we stick to memories because we long for such happy times
when actually you can create new happy times with the people around you.

you might feel lonely sometimes.
but just put in mind, someone out there cares for you.

and when you find out, it will be like kindergarten

A message to a friend (3)

kind and Naive...

that is the only thing that can describe you,,,

I remember the first day i saw you, we were standing at some line waiting to pay college fees
both of us were smashed in between people and laughing our lungs off
we became friends right after ...i still smile when i remember that day

till one year, you got closer to some people whom you took as 'new friends'
those girls were entirely different from you, from us

they start rumors and all they want to do is hook everyone up

i hated the fact that you were getting closer to them, because i didn't want people to talk badly about you.

things got jammed....we had fights..didn't talk
people tried to reconcile us
they failed

you lost me and your other best friend for the new shiny friends

till you noticed the truth
you realized the Lie

Now, you are not the same as you were with us before, not that close to us
but still not that close with them either
you took a new friend as a BFF
which is one of our friends too

lately, we're getting closer again..still not like before,,and i don't think it will ever be like before

but i just want you to know, i still wish we can all be that close friends we were before


The END

A message to a friend (2)

Friends with benefits

it means a whole lot of things if you look at it
some friends only come to you when they need you, some are there for you for a while
until you realize that you were wrong in trusting them....

I knew you since the first year of college, you are one of the people who constantly change, always rebellious, that's a good thing
but not always good, sometimes you need to see other people's opinion in the decisions you're making
sometimes people know better than you do

you can't just make a decision on something and never change it
and when you do, you change 180 degrees and insist on it
that is just not right, there's something called flexibility , Learn it.

that's not my point in here,
i have so many things to say
when you decide on something, you have to apply it on everything and everyone

not on whatever, whenever , whoever you like and spare the rest

it's called not being true to yourself and others. hypocrisy

when you have a principle in your life, it also should be applied on everything

dear friend, when i told you about the problem i had with some other friend
all i wanted is someone to listen to me, someone who actually might HELP, or reconcile us.

instead, you just told me that being that close friends with a guy is just not right

to find you getting closer to him right the next day, closer and closer every single day
you were just curious to know the problem, and used it for your own good

i don't know what are your intentions behind it, but all i know is that instead of making things right, you made them really WRONG
you made me realize how wrong i was in trusting you

and instead of reconciling us, you made my friend more and more away from me, it's like you strengthened him against me
or maybe you just told him the same thing about how it's not right for some friends to be that close and then you become closer

i know that he talks to you and only you about the problems we have, but you are just not helping
it's either you say something nice, or just stay away because you actually are provoking me with your actions and making things much worse

there's no problem if a girl and a guy become really close friends, sometimes it spares all the drama. you don't have to be emotionally or physically linked, sometimes it just is relieving to have someone who cares about you more than your actual brothers and sisters.
and when you know your limits, nothing will go wrong.

and you can't also comment about me saying or doing something, when you do what's worse
i know you might have been telling me this because you care, but you need to review your actions instead of judging mine.

apart from that, you will always be my friend, but not like before, it won't be easy for me to tell you anything anymore, but i will be here to listen, to put you on the right track when you cross the line in any other matter

other than that, i hope you realize how hurt and disappointed I am in you.

I just wish...that you actually were trying to help me, the way you stood up for me before, and you just did it wrong, or that there is something missing that i don't know about.


in that case, i hope i know it soon...

to be continued....

A message to a friend (1)

Hello friend, or shall I call you 'stranger' ; Remember me? we once were called 'best friends'

I don't know what went wrong or how we ended that way, or why did that happen but all i know is that i actually HATE it.

We all have people that come and go in our lives, you don't care about some and it actually aches when others leave.
specially if you got too attached to them, or got used to them being in your life.

I know that whom I addressed this to might never see it, some of them won't, but I just needed to let it all out.

you might still consider me a 'friend', but it won't matter 'cause things will never be the same, not unless you really prove it

I can let go all of the things you told me or the way you ignore me lately if you didn't repeat them or just didn't use a sarcastic way while talking to me, words can kill, specially for a girl, and you did that so many times.

then you come and say sorry and i'm supposed to forgive you, just so you start ignoring me all over again, and when i ask, i get endless excuses of how messed up your life is

but apparently, the troubles you're in, either i'm a part of it, or that's just an excuse for you to not talk to me, as it seems to me you're perfectly fine with everyone else, and it's only me, or some of your closest friends.

let me tell you something, friends are there for you to help, not for you to throw tantrums at when you're pissed or upset.
and you can't just ignore some of your closest friends for the sake of others, who were once your best friends too, that only means you can't maintain a balanced life or you just got back to your old friends and ignored the ones who were lately your closest friends.

you will end up losing everyone that way.

maybe some rumor made things worse lately, but NO, it even started before that.

the question is: why are you doing that? why are you treating me like crap? and why is it fine for you to wrong me but it's not okay for me to say a word without you insisting it was on you even if it wasn't and start a fight over it?

you asked me lately to not talk to you unless you start talking so you're in a good mood
for me, it seems that you4 'good mood' is always on..when you talk to everyone..apart from me.
it seems to me that all you're trying to do is give me indirect messages about how you don't want us to be friends anymore

and the sad part is, you were the one who made us friends.
you once said that i'm like your sister, that you can never lose me
and when i hinted that you are losing me , you didn't even care to fix it or even reply to that.

what am i supposed to think about that?

Dear Friend, i'm tired of trying too much to have you in my life when clearly you don't want to. I never felt that insulted or humiliated in my entire life, or even felt annoyingly persistent about something.
but i promise you one thing, i will never talk, never ask or even bother you anymore.

have a nice life, i'm done trying to be in it

to be continued....