A message to a friend (1)

Hello friend, or shall I call you 'stranger' ; Remember me? we once were called 'best friends'

I don't know what went wrong or how we ended that way, or why did that happen but all i know is that i actually HATE it.

We all have people that come and go in our lives, you don't care about some and it actually aches when others leave.
specially if you got too attached to them, or got used to them being in your life.

I know that whom I addressed this to might never see it, some of them won't, but I just needed to let it all out.

you might still consider me a 'friend', but it won't matter 'cause things will never be the same, not unless you really prove it

I can let go all of the things you told me or the way you ignore me lately if you didn't repeat them or just didn't use a sarcastic way while talking to me, words can kill, specially for a girl, and you did that so many times.

then you come and say sorry and i'm supposed to forgive you, just so you start ignoring me all over again, and when i ask, i get endless excuses of how messed up your life is

but apparently, the troubles you're in, either i'm a part of it, or that's just an excuse for you to not talk to me, as it seems to me you're perfectly fine with everyone else, and it's only me, or some of your closest friends.

let me tell you something, friends are there for you to help, not for you to throw tantrums at when you're pissed or upset.
and you can't just ignore some of your closest friends for the sake of others, who were once your best friends too, that only means you can't maintain a balanced life or you just got back to your old friends and ignored the ones who were lately your closest friends.

you will end up losing everyone that way.

maybe some rumor made things worse lately, but NO, it even started before that.

the question is: why are you doing that? why are you treating me like crap? and why is it fine for you to wrong me but it's not okay for me to say a word without you insisting it was on you even if it wasn't and start a fight over it?

you asked me lately to not talk to you unless you start talking so you're in a good mood
for me, it seems that you4 'good mood' is always on..when you talk to everyone..apart from me.
it seems to me that all you're trying to do is give me indirect messages about how you don't want us to be friends anymore

and the sad part is, you were the one who made us friends.
you once said that i'm like your sister, that you can never lose me
and when i hinted that you are losing me , you didn't even care to fix it or even reply to that.

what am i supposed to think about that?

Dear Friend, i'm tired of trying too much to have you in my life when clearly you don't want to. I never felt that insulted or humiliated in my entire life, or even felt annoyingly persistent about something.
but i promise you one thing, i will never talk, never ask or even bother you anymore.

have a nice life, i'm done trying to be in it

to be continued....